Quotes That Are Funny DefinitionSource(google.com.pk)
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
George Bernard Shaw
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often.
Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.