Quotes Funny DefinitionSource(google.com.pk)
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
Ron White A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
Jim Carrey When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
Elbert HubbarI feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
Mark Twain Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
George Bernard Shaw
As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
Mark Twain Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Mae West People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often.
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.