Quotes Funny Sayings DefinitionSource(google.com.pk)
The road to success is always under construction.
If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives.
Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.
I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
Death is hereditary.
When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
I stopped fighting my inner demons, were on the same side now.
Well-behaved women rarely make history
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong
He who laughs last, didn't get it.
We live in an age where pizza gets to your home before police.
"I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house."
"Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality."
"You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax, tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough."
"He's so optimistic he'd buy a burial suit with two pairs of pants."
"Half of the people in the world are below average."
"I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory."
"It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility!"
"Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent."
"A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it is the stupid ones who need all the advice."
"Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own."
"Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle."
"Ham and eggs - A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig."
"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
"When it comes to thought, some people stop at nothing".
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
It's your god. They're your rules. *You* go to hell.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
You couldn't get a clue during the clue mating season in a field full of horny clues if you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance.
It is a damned poor mind indeed that can't think of at least two ways of spelling any word.
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.
Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back